


so in my head

by achilleees



Category: Free!
Genre: Love Triangles, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-28 00:02:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5070067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achilleees/pseuds/achilleees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin’s eyes very slowly swept up Makoto’s body and then down again. “God, you got big,” he said, almost wonderingly.</p>
<p>Haru’s eyes narrowed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	so in my head

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nan/gifts).



> CONFESSION: I only ever watched Season 1 so this takes place immediately following that.  
> CONFESSION: I watched Season 1 a long time ago.  
> CONFESSION: I really hope this is okay!! It may not be EXACTLY what you asked for but I'm crossing my fingers that it's close enough.
> 
> title from "I really like you" by Carly Rae Jepsen.

“Haruka-senpai, if I might ask…” Rei said.

Haru raised one eyebrow.

“Having been present for the relay, and having witnessed but not, I suspect, truly comprehended all of the tangled emotions inherent, I must ask…” Rei cleared his throat. “Is it truly so easy to accept Matsuoka-san back into your life? It seems so… fraught. You have so much history.”

Haru shrugged. “Yeah.”

“Yes, it’s that easy?”

Haru nodded.

“But… I don’t understand.”

“Yeah.” Haru said.

Rei blinked.

“It’s Rin,” Haru said. “It’s that easy.” He thought about this. “I mean, it’s complicated. But it’s that easy.”

“So after all that, you’re completely open to welcoming him back,” Rei said.

Haru nodded.

“I see.” Rei sat back.

Haru smiled a little. Rei wouldn’t understand – _couldn’t_ understand, not yet, because he didn’t know Rin, the way he could weasel way into someone’s life, into their heart, no matter how hard they resisted. It was Rin.

The bus pulled up and Rin hopped out, waving and walking over to their group. He paused at the table where Makoto and Nagisa were bent over their English homework. “Hey, guys,” he said.

“Hi, Rin,” Makoto said, smiling at him.

“Hiiii Rin-chan!” Nagisa beamed.

Rin’s eyes very slowly swept up Makoto’s body and then down again. “God, you got big,” he said, almost wonderingly.

Haru’s eyes narrowed.

“Oh, uh – thank you?” Makoto said, uncertain but still smiling.

“No problem,” Rin said, a husky note to his voice.

Haru drummed his fingers on the table. “Yeahhh,” he said frostily. “Scratch that. He’s got to go.”

“Ehh?” Rei said.

 

 

Rin hung back next to Makoto as Nagisa and Rei darted ahead to look at the displays in the shop windows. Haru did too, blithely pretending not to notice Rin’s glare.

“So, Makoto,” Rin said. “How are you?”

“I’m –”

“Fine,” Haru said.

Rin shot him an annoyed look. Makoto smiled. “Fine,” he said. “I’m fine.”

“And how’s your family?” Rin said.

“They’re –”

“Fine,” Haru said.

“Doing well,” Makoto said.

Rin clenched his jaw. “How are you doing at English lessons? I could tutor you, if –”

“Top of the class,” Haru said.

“Are you busy this Saturday?” Rin said, gamely trying to ignore Haru.

“Yes,” Haru said.

“I was asking him,” Rin said.

“He’s watching Ren and Ran.”

“What about Sunday?”

“Morning practice, cooking dinners for the week in the afternoon, and homework in the evening.”

Rin huffed.

Makoto looked back and forth between them. “I think we’re, ah, starting to lose Nagisa and Rei,” he said slowly, then jogged ahead, looking back over his shoulder at them.

Rin stopped, arms crossed. “I know what you’re up to.”

“Right, like you’re subtle,” Haru said.

“What’s your damage?” Rin said. “What, am I not good enough for him?” He looked mad – which, from Rin, meant that he was genuinely hurt by this.

Haru sighed. “That’s not it.”

“Then –”

“You’re as good for him as I am,” Haru said. “That’s the problem.”

Rin’s lips formed a moue of understanding. “Ohh. Then – are you going to…?”

Haru wasn’t actually sure what Rin was asking, but the answer was pretty much the same whatever way. “No. I’m not going to make his choice for him.”

“But you’re still going to…”

“Yeah.” Haru slipped his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “I am.”

“Oh,” Rin said. He took some time to think about this. “Well, good,” he eventually declared. “Gonna be even more satisfying to beat you, then.”

“Sure,” Haru said. “That’s going to happen.” He started to walk to catch up with the rest.

“I will!” Rin said. “I could.”

Haru hooked him around the ankle with his foot, toppling him over. He jogged ahead while Rin was still getting up.

“Jerk,” Rin said when he caught up, but he was laughing.

 

 

Gou came up next to Haru as he adjusted his goggles at the poolside. “My brother’s being weirder than normal,” she said, lips pursed.

“How can you tell?” Haru said.

“Right?” Gou said. “But he’s being all, like… _go away, Gou –_ er, Kou _– I’m talking to Makoto, don’t bother me_.”

Haru looked over. Rin liked to think he was cool, he remembered, but this was both cute and pathetic. Makoto certainly looked perplexed at the way Rin was standing over him, leaning against the handrail of the bleachers and examining his fingernails as they spoke.

“Oh, Rin,” Haru said.

“Right?” Gou said again.

Haru watched as Rin said something that made Makoto laugh.

“Quick, Kou-chan, say something loud about me improving my stroke rate,” Haru said.

“Eh?” Gou said. “Haruka-senpai, did you improve your stroke rate again?”

Rin’s head snapped up. “You did not,” he said pissily, stomping over. He snapped on his goggles. “You and me, Nanase – let’s see it.”

Haru shook his head as he lined up to take the plunge into the water. Rin was too easy sometimes.

 

 

“You know, Haruka,” Makoto said on the train back from joint practice with Samezuka, “if there’s something going on between you and Rin, you can tell me about it.”

Haru banged his head on the window repeatedly.

“I don’t mean – like that,” Makoto said. “Just… is everything okay between you?”

Haru looked at him, so earnest, and nodded. “Fine,” he said. “Everything is fine.”

“Okay,” Makoto said, but he watched Haru the rest of the way home with clear concern in his eyes.

Haru sighed.

 

 

Haru rested his forehead against the middle bar on the bridge railing, legs dangling over the water. He listened to the gentle burbling of the brook underneath.

Makoto grabbed him by the collar before he could slip under the lower railing and drop into the water. “Too shallow,” he said.

Haru shrugged.

“Rin-chan is so much friendlier now,” Nagisa said, swinging his legs and licking at his popsicle. “It’s nice.”

“What about Rin-chan?” Makoto said quickly. “Did I…?”

“Oh, I was just thinking about him because we’ve been texting.” Nagisa looked shrewdly at Makoto. “Why, were you thinking about Rin-chan? Ooooh, Mako-chan!”

Makoto blushed.

Haru stood up, breaking free of Makoto’s grip. “I’m going to go for a walk.”

“Don’t –”

“I won’t go in the water,” Haru said, and shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked off.

He could feel Makoto’s eyes on the back of his head as he walked, almost burning.

 

 

Makoto gave an aggrieved sigh.

Haru looked up from the school of piranha skeletonizing a shark he was sketching on the margins of his paper.

“Sorry,” Makoto said, smiling a bit. “Irregular verb conjugations.”

Haru shrugged and went back to sketching. He would help if he could, but – ha. Ha ha ha.

Makoto chewed on the eraser end of his pencil. He wrote down something, then erased it. This happened three more times.

“Rin could help,” Haru said.

“Oh!” Makoto perked up. “But I wouldn’t want to bother him.”

Haru raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, you’re right, he wouldn’t mind,” Makoto said. He pulled out his phone, dialing a number. “Hi, Rin. I was having trouble with my English homework and Haru suggested that I ask you for – oh, could you? Thank you so much. It’s the lie – lay – lay – laid thing, I can’t get a hang of the transitive… A trick for it?”

Haru looked down and went back to sketching, listening as Makoto’s voice grew light, animated, happy. He smiled.

After a half hour of this, when homework had gone to the wayside 28 minutes before, he was feeling much less altruistic towards Rin.

So when Makoto got off the phone and Haru got a text from Rin a minute later that said _why are you helping me??_ he responded with two thumbs up emojis and a winky-face, mostly to confuse him. Got to keep him on his toes.

 

 

Haru stared out the window, watching the wind ruffle through the top leaves on the tree. He felt something nudge at his foot under the table.

He glanced over at Makoto, who tapped on the margin of his own paper with his pen. _Pay attention!!_ had been written and underlined three times.

Haru shrugged.

Makoto sighed and looked back to the teacher, smiling.

Haru looked closer at Makoto’s notebook. In the corner of the page, there was a crude little sketch of a smirking boy with sharp teeth and a shaggy sweep of hair.

Haru pursed his lips.

In the other corner, there was a crude sketch of Haru.

When he saw Haru looking, Makoto snatched the notebook away and covered the sketches with his hand. He was blushing.

Haru went back to staring out the window, deep in thought.

 

 

“We should go to the movies,” said Makoto, sitting at the low table while Haru grilled them mackerel.

Haru hummed.

“There’s a good one out – an American movie about an Olympic basketball team,” Makoto said.

Haru looked over at him.

“Rin told me about it.”

“Hn,” Haru said. “Thought so.” He set the pot of tea onto the table, maybe a little too hard.

Makoto looked down. “I just thought you might like it,” he said.

“I probably would,” Haru said. He sipped his tea and stared down at the table.

There was silence.

“We don’t have to see it,” Makoto said softly.

“I don’t –” Haru huffed.

“Let’s not see it,” Makoto said. “There’s another one out I would probably like better. And we wouldn’t need to read the subtitles.”

“Okay,” Haru said, because he didn’t know how else he was supposed to respond.

Makoto sipped his tea.

There was silence.

 

 

Nagisa bounced into the room with his customary exuberance, but there was a pout on his lips. “Haru-chaaan,” he said. “Have you seen the weather next week? It’s so cold!”

“It’s fall,” Haru said.

“Yes, but!” Nagisa mimed wiping tears from his eyes. “Outdoor swimming will be over with soon!”

Haru’s eyes widened.

“Riiight?” Nagisa said. “So sad! We should do something this weekend to appreciate the last of the warm days.”

“That would be fun,” Makoto said. “We should go camping!”

“Ooh, yes, camping!” Nagisa said, enthused. “We can get all of our homework done over the week so we won’t fall behind. Please, Rei-chan?”

Rei thought about this. “I believe that would be permissible,” he said.

“Yaaay!” Nagisa bounced up and down on his heels. “The four of us and Rin?”

Makoto’s smile faltered. “Rin?”

Haru looked up sharply.

“Ehh? You don’t want Rin coming?” Nagisa said.

“Oh, no, I want Rin to -“ Makoto said, voice breathy. “But…” He looked at Haru.

Haru blinked, thoughts whirling in his mind, nearly too fast to process.

Makoto wanted to spend time with Rin. Makoto thought Haru didn’t want to spend time with Rin. Makoto wanted to spend time with Haru, enough that he would give up seeing Rin to avoid bringing him discomfort.

This wasn’t working. Something was going to have to change.

“Rin should come,” Haru said.

Makoto beamed.

 

 

Haru waited until Rin had volunteered to go fetch water for their campsite from the little spigot by the restrooms before declaring that he too would go.

They walked for a few minutes.

“Look,” Haru said.

Rin’s shoulders dropped.

“This isn’t working,” Haru said.

“Yeah,” Rin said. “I guess you want me to back off now.” He scowled.

“Not quite,” Haru said. “I have this idea.”

Rin looked up.

 

 

It was the last day of their camping trip.

Haru drifted on his back, soaking up on the last rays of sunlight and already mourning the start of fall. It would have been a perfectly serene moment except for Nagisa singing as he splashed around in the shallow waters where the water met the shore.

“There you see her, sitting there across the way, she don’t got a lot to say but there’s something about her… And you don’t know why but you’re dying to try you wanna –“

Haru splashed some water on him.

Nagisa spluttered. “Haru-chaaan, I’m just setting the mood!”

“The mood is better without -”

“Not for you,” Nagisa huffed. “For _them_.”

Haru picked up his head. Oh.

Nagisa scooted out of Haru’s range and started singing again. “It don’t take a word, not a single word, go on and – kiss the girl…”

Rin definitely looked like he was considering it. He had maneuvered the canoe over to a shaded area on the water, dangling tree branches creating a makeshift screen from the rest of the group. He had turned around in his seat to face Makoto, and they were speaking together low and close.

Haru growled. He flipped over and began swimming over to their canoe, slicing through the water like a knife. When he grew close enough, he took a deep breath and dove, opening his eyes a crack underwater so he could find his way to the underside of the boat.

He eased out of the water right alongside the boat, slow and silent, keeping hidden behind its bulk.

“Makoto,” Rin was saying. “I really, really like you.”

“Oh?” Makoto said.

The wood of the bench creaked, Rin’s weight shifting forward as he leaned in.

Haru grabbed the side of the boat with both hands and _heaved_.

Makoto gave a yelp. Rin gave a shriek that he would almost certainly deny to his dying day, followed by a, “Motherf-“ before he was plunged into the water as the boat capsized.

They both emerged sopping wet, hair plastered in front of their eyes like a couple of wet cats. Rin was glaring.

“You cheated,” Haru said. He paddled to shallower waters where they won’t have to tread water.

“There weren’t any rules!” Rin said, following him with Makoto.

“Then me capsizing your boat wasn’t cheating either,” Haru said.

Rin made a miffed sound like a cat having its tail trod on. Rin did a lot of things in a cat-like way, albeit the least dignified cat in the world. “There are unspoken rules,” he grumbled.

“Yeah,” Haru said. “There are.”

Rin looked away, jaw set petulantly.

“Um,” Makoto said, all baffled and big-eyed. “What?”

“You’re not allowed to kiss him without me there,” Haru said.

“What, _ever_?!” Rin squawked.

“Kiss me?!” Makoto squawked.

This had turned into the least romantic love confession of all time. Haru felt zero remorse.

“The first time,” he said, flicking some water on Rin.

Rin splashed him back. “Well, I figured – you’re gonna be with him over the school year all the time anyway! It’s only fair if I get the first kiss.”

“Sure, as long as I’m there for it,” Haru huffed. “You can’t wait until my back is turned –”

“You were like 20 feet away!” Rin said.

“Right, like you weren’t hiding away in your Little Mermaid lagoon on purpose.”

“You were within eyesight, I –”

“Excuse me!”

Both of them turned to Makoto, who had grown very red-faced during their argument.

“Don’t you think you should be including _me_ in this conversation?” he said. “I’m the guy you’re both trying to kiss!”

“Okay,” Haru said. “Which one would you rather kiss first?”

Rin crossed his arms.

Makoto made a strangled sound. “I take it back. Don’t include me.” He hid his face in his hands, adorably. “Figure this out yourselves.”

“But you do want to kiss us, right?” Rin said.

Peeking through his fingers, Makoto nodded.

“Both of us?” Haru said.

Makoto nodded again. “I wouldn’t want it any other way,” he said softly.

“Aw,” Haru said.

“God, you’re so cute,” Rin said.

Haru bumped his shoulder against Rin. “Fine, you can go first.”

“Really?”

“Sure.” Haru shrugged. “I’ll get him all school year, so –”

Rin grabbed him by the top of the head and dunked him under the water. By the time Haru fought him off and emerged, he had his other hand curled around the back of Makoto’s neck and they were kissing softly, eyes closed, tentatively feeling out each other’s lips.

Haru smiled, looking back to the beach to give them some semblance of privacy. Nagisa was cheering and clapping and, it sounded like, still singing the Little Mermaid.

“My turn,” Haru said, moving forward.

Rin rolled his eyes, but willingly pulled away from Makoto, who was blushing. But he still leaned in and met Haru in the middle.


End file.
